Dream #4

I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss...

I dreamt about you again last night, or early this morning...July 5, 2006.

Here's what I remember:

the ending, first, because this is the most clear:


I'm standing in a group of people, we are in line waiting to be allowed to go 'in' somewhere or sign up for something.. but people are all around..

I feel like its outside.

I'm anxious, because I think I know that you are around. I want to get in there.

I look up and there is like a podium, its like IT'S inside now, like an awards banquet or something - maybe inspired from that Sanyo thing you did and I saw pics of, but it's not exactly like that.. and there you are - you're at the podium -- you look ok, not great. But I'm still excited it's you.

Short hair, real short hair like a pic I saw recently that you have this real sort of Ward Cleaver cut - you look like some guy from the 60's with the haircut, like this.. Ken doll molded hair... *ohgod* -- and you're kinda 5:00 shadowy ish -- and kinda Giambi shiny sweaty .... and you're looking and smiling and here comes AROD over to you from the right.. and I'm watching ... its like a train wreck that you know is going to happen and I'm WATCHING it unfold... you are smiling at each other... and Arod goes right to you and he and you KISS each other... on the MOUTH. A ... nice one too, not just a peck.. one like I would give you if I ever had the chance.

My jaw drops and you turn and look right at me. Like you know I'm there and are a little embarassed that I just saw that... its like that but then again I'm not sure if you're saying "take that!" to me too. But you immediately looked at me to see my reaction and my mouth is dropped open and I look away. I just can't look - its' killing me. Thats the end.

OH WAIT, NO its not! -- after I look away... there must've been a part of my subconscious so sad about that that it added a part for me that I could take away from the dream... I'm still in the haphazard line I am in... and there ahead of me is the Old Johnny ... you've got a red tshirt on, your hair is long, facial hair but NICE ... you're looking down and signing something... and you are exquisitely beautiful and my heart is full seeing this person instead of the 'other guy'.

I start to go over to you - the line is moving and I'm getting closer, I am ready to start edging people aside .. I am 3 feet away... and dammit I wake up!!! UGH!! ;)

I have the strangest dreams that ... to me they are easy to read -- I just miss my old JD and am very bothered by the new one.

The earlier part was... and this is so hard to conjure up now...

You were around. Somewhere. Again, there are tons of people milling around.. I am searching... I'm going room to room it seems in some restaurant or inn or something.. I'm dressed up and people are sitting at nice tables w/ linen tablecloths etc -- candle lit -- I feel like I met up with you sometime earlier in this part of the dream or got very close to you, but I can't remember it now. I do know that I was anxious looking for someone, and I was aware that you were in the vicinity... you were somewhere --- but that's all I remember now. Apprehension about my Boston trip?? Anxiety that I am not going to get to see you at all that day, and hence, never? Probably... and I don't know, but I do know I love dreaming about you, no matter what the scenario -- because it may be as close as I ever do get to you, and it feels real enough..

Even if you're kissing Arod full on the mouth... I like dreaming about you, but that ... yeah that was gross!! lol

letting me go...

I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside...

I never...
I never...
I never...

Counting Cards...

Just dropping a note to say yesterday, I went through all of the cards I have that I hadn't put in my 'book' yet... it was like Christmas going through them all - sometimes I'd get them in the mail and just stuff them away so I wouldn't get caught. *blush*

I added like a dozen more that I didn't have already and counted.

I have 218 different Johnny Damon cards, darling. LOL Some REALLY nice ones too. I am DONE however... I refuse to ever buy a yankess card of you, as far as that goes you'll have to be persona non grata, I don't do skanks. Bad enough I have a Pedro card that is ruined with the Posada piglet on it...

Anyway -- if I ever run across some extra pretty ones esp. with your former magnificent mane, I will likely fill in some more gaps, but... overall -- its over, baby. ;(

Just about 200 more to post up here. LOL, as if!

Wichita Wranglers

LOL -- I swear -- this is my last card. But I didn't even know there was a Wichita Wrangler team!

Crowning Glory - All Star Patches

OK, I put on Page One of my blog, that I had a lot of things to write about.. well, this is one of them -- I am ecstatic I was able to pick up this card over the weekend on ebay:

It's the crowning achievement of my collection. The one I've coveted for a long time - its so beautiful... I have the same one in the dark blue and I love that too, but ... orange... is one of my favorite colors - plus there's only 60 of these, I think. There was another one on ebay at the same time - he was asking $60 for it. I wrote to him and complained and he said he'd sold another for $42.
I've seen this same one go for around $50... its crazy! Everybody wants you. In orange. ;)

Well, I got you for $15. Because I was meant to have it. I'm thrilled. If you don't think that gets my Scottish blood sliding through my veins like a runaway silver train, then you don't know me. Oh yeah, that's right ~ you don't know me! LOL Well, I'm crazy because I can't afford to do this, but I did anyway and I'm thrilled.

Best of all I think now I can stop. I think I can stop collecting you. I have over 175 different ones - just of you. Hundreds more that are dupes. I will never buy a card of you in that striped clown suit they make you wear now. A person has to have standards after all ...

I think I can stop. I hope I can stop. I must, because I can't afford you, darling.
But it has really been a great few days.

Here are some of my other cards I really like..

Here are some more..











-- a nice card with lots of my guys on one card.

Dream #2

I had this somewhere around March 12 but have post dated it prior to the baseball cards because I want those on top:

I have had several dreams about you and I really love having them. The best part of real dreams is -- it feels like I am really with you. I am going to try and remember dream #2. I know there is an entire chunk I am missing -- I hope its wasn't something reeaaaal good. ;) I'm sure it wasn't because... I tend to wake up when I get real excited.... this is the only reason I am able to remember them in the first place, because I wake up immediately after or during them.

This is a very strange dream. Here's what I remember:

All I remember is I was on some type of bus, like a school bus. All of a sudden there you were, getting on the bus. I was so excited, it was like high school, the feeling like when the guy you had a huge crush on was for some reason getting on your bus... that's how it felt, I was so excited! You hesitated at the front of the bus, you were unsure. You didn't really look like yourself, but I knew it was you. Your face was rounder, and sort of orange-y, like you'd used cheap tanner or something -- it was very shiny and puffy - actually like you had been burned or something... it was weird, but it was you. I don't know if it was the way you looked or whatever, but the vibe on the bus big time was - no one liked you. And you knew it.

You went and sat behind me on the other side, but then this is when the bus changes a little... now its like not so big a bus, and behind my seat is a bigger, open area, like the back of a jeep, but bigger. It was like a huge Hummer, or army carrier. You sat opposite side of me and I turned in my seat because - well, Jesus how could I take my eyes off of you?

We were traveling through very pastoral areas - there were lush fields and stone walls on either side of this winding country road we were traveling on and I could then hear a siren in the distance. It was getting closer and closer and you could feel the trepidation on the bus. I was very anxious. Then I could see people that I hadn't noticed before on the edges of the woods - some were teenagers that seemed to be playing hooky, doing what teens do and there were people who were naked and in various states of undress that were all jumping up and running into the forest with the sirens coming. It was very much like one of those old bacchanalian paintings that you sometimes see where little naked pagan entities run into the woods so they won't get caught in their orgiastic affairs.

There was some other guy in the back with you sitting indian style - you were sitting on like what would be the wheel well in the back. This guy and you were making very small talk. He really didn't want to be seen with you. I turned in my seat basically to eavesdrop and let you know I was there for you. You seemed so.... alone and sad, but trying to put on a brave face.

The 'cops' or authorities entered the bus and I was trying to be invisible. This huge cop started to go by me, but then I felt him come down with his mouth to my ear, my eyes were pressed tight, I had such a sense of foreboding! He said,"Someone died." and I looked at him and said "of mine?" and he said, "No. His (or him)." and he pointed to you.

Then the cops were gone and although you had been sitting on the wheel well, now you had disappeared. You were still there, but I couldn't see you. The guy had stopped talking to you and I desperately wanted to talk to you. I went over to you on my knees, to where you were supposed to be and whispered "How am I supposed to talk to you if I can't even see you?"

I couldn't see you but I remember distinctly, I could feel your physical presence, my hands on either side of your hips. I was a little aggravated because I knew I was dreaming and I'm like "just my luck, I have a dream about him and I can't see his lovely face! And the one I did see was all shiny and orange!" LOL :D And I do remember feeling like, "if I wake up and find out someone Johnny knows died, I'm am going to shit."

You were then after that, I think, sort of there - sort of in and out, and were whispering to me - we were having a very, very low conversation, but I don't know anything that was said, and it wasn't even important because it was just like we were .... well, it wasn't important what was being said ... because it was basically all just sensations, like my eyes were closed, but I could feel you and hear you murmuring in my ear, feel your breath making my hair move by my ear. I think its because I was waking up, but didn't want to lose the entire thing - I wanted to stay there in the hummer-bus and talk with you and get to know you.

I feel I know the significance of a few of these elements in this dream, but... I won't go into that right now.

Dream #1

This stinks, 'cause I typed the whole thing out and lost it, but... its the best of my dreams, so I shall win at posting it.

It's the first dream I had of you, and its even more than just my #1 dream in the numerical sense, its my #1 dream I have probably ever had in my life.
I had this sometime in early December, 2005 - just about a month before 'the bad thing'.

OK, this is what I remember! I wonder how many I have had about you that I don't remember because I don't wake up? Probably not many because I wake up about a dozen times a night.... at least. I seem to dream about you in the wee hours of the morning... maybe some women's hormones peak at that time... I know that many times a man's does. heh heh

I am trying to remember the beginning, but I don't remember the earliest part now (drat!) - but I do remember we were in a VERY crowded building, like a hallway and it was like school when you were going to the cafeteria. But it was all adults. Packed. It reminds me of this situation - when you come into a ski lodge and the place is packed and everyone is removing their boots and doling out lunches for the kids - it was like that, busy busy and very crowded.

I was outside the doorway to the 'cafeteria' and people were brushing by me and I turned to look up the hallway. I'm smiling to myself because I know a little secret. I am here with you. And I'm waiting for you to come down the hallway... it was so exciting, anticipating seeing you. And then there you are - you're head is above most of the rest of the people and you are coming toward me, and oh my God, you look so cute. So damn cute I want to eat you. You have on some little hat - like a black cap on backwards, not a baseball cap, but like a flat cap, like the ones with the kangaroo on it. And you are trying to be incognito, so you have on a pair of black glasses. Not sunglasses, mind you, but geeky black framed glasses! Oh my gosh, you looked so cute! And of course you still had 'the hair' and it was just perfect and ... I was standing there beaming at you and the funniest thing of all - was that no one recognized you! Your 'disguise' worked, even though it was so obvious you were Johnny Damon in a cap and black glasses! You were so gorgeous. Long hair; no beard, or just a light scruff. And you're looking at me with a wise ass smirk on your face.

So anyway, no one recognizes you and you turn into this room that is basically a PACKED cafeteria... and I go with you and I'm smiling cuz how can these dolts not recognize him? People are EVERYWHERE and its NOISY and most of the benches are full... well we come to this long table and apparently some people that are supposed to be your family (a bunch of people I have no idea - no one is recognizable but I didn't really care I'm just looking and thinking "ITS JOHNNY!") are sitting there. I'm watching and you squeeze behind one of the benches and as you're going to sit, you lift your leg over the bench and bend forward and I notice - well, all of a sudden you had two baby twins on your back in like a backpack... ok, where the heck did they come from I dunno but that's ... whats happening. I mean they are TINY too. Like newborns. Now I squeeze between the benches and I am sitting next to you. I look at you immediately to my left and the twins are now gone! LOL - Either I eradicated them in my dream or some one in your family took 'em, and whatever, 'cause they're GONE.

That's all I remember in the ski lodge cafeteria, but - the NEXT thing I know: we're outside - and its late... I didn't think it was night, but it's like late dusk. We are in the water. It's, I think, a lake, and I am NAKED. Treading water - the feeling of being naked in the cool water is so wonderful. You are nearer the shore. There are people on the shore, like on a rock peninsula, we don't know them. So I make my way to you - I'm dogpaddling.... LOL, even in my dreams I swim crappy! :)

The water is black, dark. I swim up to you, you're in the water too, on some submerged rocks, and.... I swim into your arms, you put your arms around me. Its a real dream so I can really feel it. You're naked too.

We're front to front, facing each other up to our shoulders. I have my legs wrapped around your waist and we are bobbing a little bit away from the rocks and out into the water. And you are .... *faint* trying to insert yourself.... and the people on
the rocky shore are watching us and its like they know full well what's going on, but we're trying to act all cool and casual. You take me a little further out, and I am on you and your arms are around my waist and butt and we are just gently bouncing away.... and ohh yeah. It's working, its definately working... it was unbelievable. It was so real. I could feel you making love to me in the water. Wow, great dream eh? LOL

My arms are around your neck and I am moaning in your ear. One of those big, beautiful ears - I can see it, I can bite it. I can hear your rapid breathing and my moaning. The lapping of the water... and of course that hair,.. that fabulous hair is a little wet at the ends... your shoulders are wet - and we're bobbing around in that black water... and here's the kicker... I'm telling you the truth, I had 3 orgasms in my sleep and the third one was so big I woke myself up! LOL!!!! WOW. I wish I could program myself to replay that dream every. single. night.